To know something deeply, but to hear it and understand it as if for the first time. Thanks to Andre Acimen's Call Me By Your Name, I found the perception I was lacking around the destructive act of guarding my heart. One must feel pain so that one may recognize joy.
I couldn’t breath today, Knowing I’d break your heart today. And if I’m being honest, I’d say, I broke my own heart this way. I don’t want to lose you, And the way you make me feel. Something’s just not right, Your heart’s not mine to steal. Maybe I’m making a mistake, By telling you … Continue reading Two Fish
Thunder cracks inside my chestSo much to do, no time to restStormy skies, a fever dreamNothing is as it would seem Today’s not real like yesterday wasFish swim in the sky like lightening doesI tell you, I know that I knowBut right now, I don’t know that I know Strange things these hearts of oursWild … Continue reading Thunder Cracks Inside My Chest
Only flesh and bonesLiving in a dreamI get so coldLike you wouldn’t believe The world is heavyWith your staresI choke down tearsSay I don’t careMy body is my homeBut it’s full of locked doorsDon’t know who I amTill I crumble to the floor I put on a smileLike I put on lipstickConvince me I’m fineCollapsing … Continue reading Until I Find The Light
You know when the sky is blue and the wind is blowing and the world feels peaceful and still? Like nothing can go wrong, and the promise of adventure brings you a secret thrill? That’s how you make me feel. Like I’ve played in the wind and lazed in the grass and finally found my … Continue reading If You Were a Day
I played with the idea of sobriety for years, even experimenting in short spurts. I knew the lessons I needed to learn, but it took me years to commit to learning them. Since I announced to the world my sobriety so recently, I've gotten an outpouring of love. A few people have shared that they too are considering sobriety, or struggle with similar issues as I do. I wanted to get everything about my experience and what I've learned down in hopes that my testament and advice can help others make the decision to be sober.
Can they smell the stench of rot coming from inside? Or hear the words attacking my brain, too evil to confide? Disintegrating bone and flesh are the fabrics of my soul, But on the outside looking in, they would never know. My arms are tired, my fire out, I’m too exhausted to keep going. Yet … Continue reading The Decay of Me